Hearts
by Zamael
Summary: Rescued by Karkat Vantas, and having her flushed feelings reciprocated by him, Nepeta Leijon finds that she at last has everything she ever wanted from life. If only it could have been that simple. Rated for sad and some violence.
1. Fear

honk

Nepeta Leijon had never been this afraid in her entire life. She was afraid because someone she knew - someone she had thought to be harmless and a good friend until very recently, at that - was trying to kill her, and had very good chances of succeeding. She was frightened because he had just killed her moirail, the only person she could truly count on in this entire fiasco, depriving her from any cover or support here in these dark tunnels. She felt panic because her attempts at avenging him had been taken on a stride, her wrist broken, her claws used - by _him_, which was the important part, instead of _her _- to make three deep, bleeding marks into his face, before letting her go.

HONK

And most of all, she was absolutely terrified because Karkat would never know. He would never even learn how she felt about him, how important he was for her, and that, for her, was the worst part. She had been nursing her flush for him for sweeps now, dreaming about the time she would tell him and fantasizing of his passionate response, and she did not wish to die here, ignobly, before he would be told.

honk

She could probably still run. Her wrist hurt, but it did not stop her from simply fleeing Gamzee, hiding somewhere, and calling for help. She could still survive this. Equius would not have wanted for her to give up her life without a fight, rendering his sacrifice pointless (or even more so).

What kind of a lame power was Heart, anyway? What could it ever do?

And so she absconded. She quickly picked up Equius's glasses as she passed by, trying to not look at his face, still smiling at nothingness. Gamzee did not run after her.

HONK

centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]  
>CT: :33 karkat!<br>CG: EQUIUS IS THAT YOU.  
>CG: WAIT NO.<br>CG: FUCK. NEPETA GET OFF HIS ACCOUNT. I NEED TO TALK TO HIM  
>CT: :33 :(( hes dead<br>CG: WHAT.  
>CT: :33 i saw it happen<br>CT: :33 it was gamzee  
>CT: :33 i tried to avengepounce him<br>CT: :33 i really did  
>CT: but<br>CG: OKAY OKAY I GET IT.  
>CG: JUST SHUT UP FOR A SECOND. WHERE ARE YOU NOW?<br>CT: :33 i ran away  
>CT: :33 i<br>CT: :33 hold on  
>centaursTesticle [CT] changed his trollhandle to arsenicCatnip [AC]<br>AC: :33 okay  
>AC: :33 karkitty<br>AC: :33 are you still there  
>CG: YEAH STILL HERE. ARE YOU OKAY<br>AC: :33 yeah at the moment  
>AC: :33 well mostly<br>AC: :33 im scared  
>AC: :33 its cold and dark here and i just want to see you again :((<br>CG: OKAY JUST  
>JUST HOLD ON FOR A SEC. I'M ON IT.<br>DON'T GET AWAY FROM WHERE YOU'RE HIDING. JUST KEEP TALKING. I'LL FIND YOU

Karkat had to leave Sollux for Kanaya's care. He could not have him come along, being blind and all that. But he could not leave Nepeta there in the cold, either: she was an insufferable autistic catgirl, and he did not really like her at all, but he still cared about her and he would not have someone else die here.

He had screwed up enough already.

And as instructed by him, Nepeta kept talking. Or writing. Whatever. It helped him find her, and told him that she was still alive instead of being assaulted from behind by a murderous troll or two. Also it helped her feel better, he supposed.  
>AC: :33 i need you to tell me something<br>CG: WHAT?  
>AC: :33 itll make me feel better<br>AC: :33 i hope  
>AC: :33 how do you feel about vriska?<br>CG: WHAT THE FUCK?  
>CG: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU ASK ME THAT FOR? HOW DOES THAT MURDEROUS SPIDER BITCH HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS BULLSHIT?<br>AC: :33 so you dont like her?  
>CG: WHAT? FUCK NO.<br>CG: SHE'S HORRIBLE AND EVIL.  
>CG: SHE'D PROBABLY EAT ME RIGHT AFTER WE FILLED OUR BUCKETS ANYWAY, WHY THE FUCK WOULD I LIKE HER AT ALL?<p>

He did not have a very good feeling on where this discussion was going.

AC: :33 *the kitty is relieved beyond any murrtal compurrhension*  
>AC: :33 that means its all going to be okay!<br>CG: WHAT? WHAT'RE YOU GOING ON ABOUT N  
>CG: OH GOD.<br>CG: YOU DON'T MEAN  
>AC: :33 *she makes a dramatic pause as she gathers up the lion courage to finally tell Karkitty what she has been meaning to say for a long while*<br>AC: :33 karkat kantas  
>AC: i am<br>AC: absolutely  
>AC: furriously<br>AC: impawssibly much  
>AC: with all nine of my kittylives<br>AC: with all four of my kittyhearts  
>AC: (or thirtysix if you count all hearts of all lives)<br>AC: both of my eyes seeing you in the dark with my catvision  
>AC: both of my mouths, stuck in permanent happy cat smile, calling upon you<br>CG: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE WILL YOU GET IT OVER WITH ALREADY.  
>AC: with all seventeen of my<br>AC: wait  
>AC: :? what?<br>CG: YOU COULDN'T MAKE THIS SHIT MORE PAINFULLY OBVIOUS IF YOU TRIED.  
>CG: I FUCKING KNOW.<br>CG: I'VE FUCKING KNOWN FOR LIKE FOREVER BECAUSE YOU JUST CAN'T KEEP YOUR "SECRET" FLUSH-CRUSH HIDDEN.  
>CG: YOU'RE MORE FUCKING OBVIOUS THAN A JUGGALO IN A HIGHBLOOD FUNERAL. EVERY TROLL IN THE BLOCK KNOWS.<br>AC: :33 but i thought  
>AC: :OO i thought i was so careful and purrudent to not let you know<br>CG: WELL IT OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T STICK.  
>CG: GAH. LOOK.<br>CG: I'M ALMOST THERE NOW. WE'LL TALK LATER.

Nepeta's heart leapt. He knew! He had always known about it! Or at least "FOREVER", as he said, which honestly could have meant anything, but for her it was probably more than long enough.

She supposed it was obvious in the end. He was the one that knew everything about love among them, after all - even more than Nepeta herself, even if her shipping acumen was unmatchable. These were just the sort of little details that had made her so attracted to him in the first place, though there were of course so many other things.

And so, scant minutes later when Karkat found a hurt, dirty and messy stray cat from some vents, she spent not a millisecond without pouncing on him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, trembling heavily, and wept loudly against his shoulder. He hugged her back, pulling her closer, feeling relieved that she was still all right - although the reason he himself was trembling was not only relief, but also fear for what was yet to come: he knew that they were still not off the hook, although it was an entirely different hook but probably much more vicious.

When she kissed him, he had no heart to pull away.

(A/C: Karkat/Nepeta is my saddest ship. However much it may hurt you to read this thing, odds are it hurt me more writing it.)


	2. Happiness & Guilt

She clung to him almost the entire journey, purring, clearly well over with her close brush with death. He never once managed to rid her - though to his shame he never tried too hard either, afraid of hurting her more - until they had come to the rooftop, where at last she left him so that he could have a hug with Terezi.

Everybody was here. Well, everybody that was still alive. Plus Vriska that wasn't. Plus Kanaya who wasn't but was now. Minus Gamzee. It was all very complicated, and there would have to be so many explanations later, when they were all finally clear out of this entire thing - but right now Karkat was focused with pushing Terezi away, although not too hard, when she tried to kiss him.

She looked confused. He tried to wordlessly signal her the sadness and awkwardness he was feeling, eyeing at Nepeta, who behind him was smiling brightly. She seemed to understand.

"This'll be temporary," he whispered to her so that the other girl could not see. "I'll get myself out of it soon, I promise."

Then Gamzee arrived and they were given something else to think about. Karkat surprised everybody by shoooooooooshing him into submission and entering a pale relationship with him, thus ending the cycle of murder forever. More hugs were shared, this time with a previously murderous juggalo.

A much too small break followed, and then along came the Scratch. The kids and the trolls were united. They joined forces in a final battle against the demonic dog-thing Bec Noir. After that, they joined forces again, and all the dead trolls and humans came temporarily back to life, for the very definitely final battle against Lord English. And even after that, they all had a happy ending in a new universe where they all settled down after all these crazy adventures. It all took about two hours of their time, and was intensely epic, with several week-long breaks and flash animations.

And the whole time, Nepeta had been happier than he had ever seen her before. Even when she threw herself in front of an attack that would have killed him, and very nearly did her in, she was smiling throughout the entire ordeal. Unfortunately, Karkat was already flushed for Terezi. Obviously he wanted to be with her but couldn't, because goddammit it would hurt when he let Nepeta know.

"You just need to tell her," Terezi told him once, when they had managed to find a bit of break from the catgirl. "The more you keep it welling up the more it's going to hurt when you finally let her know. I mean you're not really flushed for her, are you?"  
>"No, but-", he tried.<br>"And you'd much rather be with me, right?", she interrupted.  
>"Well of course, but-"<br>"Then you gotta tell her. Just stop purrcra- I mean, procrastinating. Seriously."  
>"But... urgh." He groaned, holding his forehead. "Fine. Okay. I'll tell her tonight."<p>

The dead had not, unfortunately, stayed with them for much longer than the epic final battle, and so they had to soon find some place to bury them in: it was a weird human ritual that they had insisted for the deceased of their own, and several trolls had followed suit. Their human guardians all lied there six feet under, as did the trolls, with some carved stones they had alchemized stuck next to each grave, stating the names and deeds of each body buried there.

Nepeta spent rather a lot time here. She had placed her hood on Equius's gravestone, and poured some milk over it, to remember her old moirail. Sitting here, next to him, and talking to him, she could pretend that he could hear her, listened to her, and occasionally even answered. She thought that she could understand humans now: they wished to have a place to speak to their dead in and pay some homage to them, even have them watch over the still living. It was a strange thing but made her feel a lot better.

She had forgiven Gamzee, of course: trolls had been doing this kind of shit for millennia, and along with the whole package of killing each other for little to no reason, obviously also came the inability to hold a grudge, because if they did, they would have no one to talk about at all. Humans thought this was weird, and the one called Rose had been especially perplexed of her easily forgiving him, and she was still struggling to understand this bit of their culture. Humans sure were weird.

She heard familiar footsteps from behind her, but the hallowed ground stopped her from just outright pouncing at him again, so she simply waited there for him to sit next to her, in silence. Karkat looked sad as well, and she had to say she appreciated it: not many trolls visited this place, most of them having moved on already, but Karkat obviously still cared. Her Karkitty cared about everyone.  
>She told him this. "It's one reason why I like you so much," she said. "You're not like the others at all. You don't like hurting them, or insulting them, or breaking their hearts, or anything. You like to be furends with everybody, even when they're dead!"<br>"Uh." He seemed hesitant: it was clear that her compliment had gone through, and he was trying to look for words for it. He eventually settled for "Thanks," although, much to her chagrin, he did not smile. She still had not seen him smile, apart from the time he hugged Gamzee, but she supposed it would take a while for the crabby jerk.

She leaned closer and slowly pulled him in a hug. "I'm so glad you're here with me," she whispered tearfully. "Now that Equius is gone... I- I'm not sure I could've been going on without you. I'm so glad we're together now."

Karkat shruddered and barely managed to return to the hug, and was all too thankful that this exchange did not end in a kiss as well. Another crappy overexaggerated scene from his crappy rom-coms: if it was anyone else, even Terezi (_especially_ Terezi, he realized), she would have been guilt-tripping him to stay with her, because no one else could possibly play this shit straight in the real world. But it was Nepeta, and fuck this shit.

Karkat Vantas had never felt more sick in his entire life, more disgusted with himself. He just hoped that Terezi would not flay him alive.


	3. Denial

Two weeks had passed. The good news were that Terezi still had not flayed him. The bad news were that he was still in a flushed relationship with Nepeta.

Quite unsurprisingly, she made a very cuddly matesprit. Whenever they were together, she would be all over him, purring and hugging and rubbing herself against him and occasionally nibbling his ear or scratching him affectionately. But thankfully for him, she also gave him plenty of space, and he used most of that time pestering the others, pouring himself out, and asking them advice. Unfortunately, they all had the exact same thing to say as Terezi had: just tell her. It was much harder than it sounded, however, and as such he had not stopped purrcrastinating. And whenever he closed the chumhandles, he would end them with the same message:

CG: NOBODY FUCKING TELL HER ANYTHING.  
>CG: THIS DISCUSSION NEVER HAPPENED. IT'S NONEXISTANT, STUCK IN A DEAD TIMELINE SOMEWHERE ON THE GRAVEYARD OF TIMELINES.<br>CG: I WILL LET HER KNOW. EVENTUALLY. HONEST

But obviously he still hadn't. He kept looking for better ways.

It was John that first suggested him that he should just make it obvious that he does not care about her: not ask her on dates, do anything affectionate, respond to hugs, etcetera. John was of course too derpy to notice that this was basically what he had done with her the whole time, and he told him that. He just told him to try harder because the message obviously did not go through.

Terezi thought that Nepeta was pretty much in denial now, fooling herself: it was obvious for everybody but her that Karkat did not really care about her at all, or not in the way she cared about him at least, and yet here she was babbling on about how Karkat was so perfect and such a great listener and did so many romantic things for her and how they were so obviously and forever flushed to each other and... this infuriated Terezi, who was rather longing for Karkat herself obviously, but she did not say anything: she had promised it for him. She had not, however, promised to not hint it, to nudge her in the right direction a little.  
>"Are you sure?", she asked her carefully. "He doesn't seem all that affectionate to me."<br>She looked back at her as if she had just claimed the sky was green. "Are you crazy?", she giggled. "Maybe you're just blind! Karkitty's so awesome and thoughtful and purrfect and..." And so she kept going again: Terezi stifled a gag and managed to not show her contempt for the other girl.

"...And he's taking me to the dance next week!", she finally finished.  
>"What?" This genuinely surprised Terezi. "Did he really say that?"<br>"Well, no," she admitted with a shrug, "but it's just opawious, isn't it? I mean, we are matesprits! And human matesprits dance!" Terezi had to admit this one.

It had been John's idea. Now that everything was finally over and they had found peace, they should all party like motherfuckers. They would get themselves a large hall, fill it with food and music (since almost everyone played something this would not be a problem), dress everyone up in fancy clothing (which they could alchemize), and then eat, dance, and have generally good time by all. John had been very excited about all this, and his excitenment gradually stuck to the other humans, followed by trolls. Terezi had been looking forward to go with Karkat.

She told him, in no unclear terms, that she would go to the dance with him. "I know this is hard to you, and I can totally see that, but trust me: if you go there with her, then you might as well never tell her about how you feel, because you and I are through."  
>"Yeah, yeah, I know, look. Seriously." Karkat tried to make her feel better, as well as himself, and failed. "I'll try. I'll let her know before it. Just watch me."<p>

Jade and Kanaya had built themselves a tower on the nearby mountain, one that resembled their old homes, and set up a shop there to alchemize some personally tailored suits for any human or troll that came in. And sooner or later, they all did. They had to admit that John really had gotten everyone around with this thing.

With humans, it was easy to get them something nice to wear: during the game itself, all four had alchemized themselves several different types of suits and dresses and such, and it was only a matter of picking the ones they liked the most and turning them into something even more stylish and festive. With trolls it had been rather more tricky, as none of them - barring Kanaya, of course - had a single spark of fashion sense in them, and they had been wearing the exact same clothes throughout the entire game and after - sometimes even not washing them in between. Nonetheless, despite the hardships, the girls prevailed.

And then Nepeta pranced in, and the two glanced at each other. The glances promised for dark, dark times for the two, and even more so for Karkat if he didn't pull his shit together soon. "H-hi...", Jade managed.  
>"Hey!", Nepeta responded happily. Jade had not thought it would be possible for one to feel so very quilty for someone else being so happy. "Got something for me?"<p>

They spent the afternoon trying dresses for her, listening to her praising Karkat, and trying their best to talk her out of it. That he did not seem entirely happy with it. That perhaps this was not entirely what he wanted, and she should let him go. She would not listen, simply brush off their accusations. Eventually Jade went directly against Karkat's orders and told her outright:  
>"Look, he doesn't like you, he only sticks with you because he feels bad, and he has someone else he wants to go to the dance with!"<p>

Finally, it seemed to go through. Nepeta's smile slowly faded away, her posture drooped a little, and the happy glimmer behind her eyes extinguished, for most part. "...Oh." Jade felt her heart break as she watched, and hoped that the other girl would not start to cry, because she probably could not handle that. Instead, she slowly pulled her in a hug, to which she responded. After a fashion, Kanaya joined them too.

"I'm so sorry...", Jade murmured, holding her comfortingly as close as she could.  
>"It's okay... you shouldn't be." Nepeta took a deep breath. "I know it's hard... but it's okay. I'm here fur you."<br>"Huh?" Jade was pretty certain that was supposed to come from her mouth. Or at least Kanaya's. But it was Nepeta that was still talking.  
>"I know Karkitty had a thing for you in the past, but..."<br>"Wait, wha-?", she started, but Nepeta papped her paw on Jade's mouth. "Shoooosh."

Kanaya sighed: she had not gotten it after all. Perhaps they had their hopes up a little.  
>"I didn't mea-", Jade attempted, only to be shooshed again by Nepeta. "It's all right, Jade," she whispered sympathetically. "It's all right. You'll find someone. I heard Gamzee is still free..."<br>"I AM NOT LOOKING F-" Shoooooosh. "STOP THA-" Pap. "I'm warning y-" Shoooshoooooshoooosh shh. "But..." Pap pap pap.  
>Shooooooosh pap pap. Jade yawned.<br>"B-but seriously, Nepeta," she started again, more quietly this time, "you have to see..." Pap.  
>Second wind. "No really, YOU JUST HAVE TO OPEN YOUR EYES AND SEE HOW LITTLE HE REALLY-" but it was all covered under a very long, loud SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH.<p>

Kanaya had stopped hugging them a little while before, knowing more than well enough to not get in the middle of this mess. It ended with a hug, although rather a half-hearted on Jade's part, and with a promise from Nepeta that they would do another feelings jam later if she felt like it. She then left, merrily as ever, with a whole new dress captchalogued in her inventory.

Jade sat down on a box of grist and buried her face in her hands. "...Fffuuuuck."


	4. Acceptance

As the day of the dance approached, it was not making anyone as happy or expectant as it should have - barring perhaps Nepeta, who was still quite cheerful and oblivious of anything. Everybody else, even John, had their expectations mixed with relative amounts of guilt and sadness for the catgirl: some, including John and Dave, managed to entirely or almost so mask any negative feelings, mostly looking forward to the day. Others, Terezi and Jade among them, were being significantly less happy about it, being closer to the central point of the events. And Karkat, he was not looking forward to it at all: on the contrary, the closer the day came, the more sick he was feeling.

Nepeta, as usual, did not notice a thing. She simply pranced about, went often hunting, and spend much of her time clinging to Karkat, purring, and being generally oblivious. Sometimes she would notice something was wrong, that the others were not being on such good mood as they should: she would ask everybody, Karkat included, if everything was all right, encourage them to a feelings jam with her, but gave up fairly quickly when they told her that they were doing fine.

Karkat himself was starting to get looks from the others, as well as increasingly demanding encouragements that he simply told her everything, despite his reluctance. Some others had also tried to come clean for Nepeta, but she had not believed them either. As for Terezi, she was now staying clear of the entire issue, and had ceased talking to Karkat at all: instead, she was spending more and more time with Dave, something that Jade seemed to have a certain issue with as well.

He even went as far as to contact his own past self, which did not go particularly well either:  
>PCG: LOOK JUST STOP GETTING ON MY ASS ABOUT IT. I WAS JUST ABOUT TO GO TELL HER. SHE'S PROBABLY AT THE GRAVEYARD AGAIN, SO.<br>CCG: WELL WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I AM GETTING ON YOUR ASS ABOUT THIS SHIT?  
>PCG: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE.<br>PCG: HOW FAR IN THE FUTURE ARE YOU AGAIN? LIKE THREE WEEKS?  
>PCG: IF YOU STILL HAVEN'T TOLD HER, THEN FUCK YOU. I'D HATE TO BE SOMEONE WITH SO LITTLE SPINE.<br>CCG: YOU'RE GONNA BE THAT SOMEONE WITH SO LITTLE SPINE SOON, YOU FUCKASS.  
>PCG: SURE BUT I DEFINITELY DON'T HAVE TO LIKE IT.<p>

He had tried to get in touch with his future self as well, for a similar hate-filled talk, but strangely could not connect him. This puzzled him: the new Trollian still had its own issues, but there had been known instances of getting in touch with one's (or someone else's) future self before - he still distinctly remembered how the future Karkat had contacted him about three weeks in the past, too.

There were no more results in trying with the others, either. He could find nobody. This puzzled him.

He ended up spending more and more time with Nepeta, mostly from her insistence, but just could not find the courage to wipe that smile from her face, even if it was for everybody's best. It did not help matters at all that he had started to enjoy spending time with her, too: she was the only one left that was still entirely furendly with him, him having pulled everybody else into this shitstorm and then abandoned them all into guilt. He found himself almost returning to her affections, and oh fuck what was wrong with him?

Think about Terezi. Think about her going out with that douchebag Strider human. Think about how she should go out with him, Karkat, instead. Fuck! Just tell her!

With substantial amount of willpower, he managed to not rub her from behind her ear as she snuggled on his lap, but he would not push her away either, nor say anything hurtful. Fuck this was such a mess.

And so came the fateful night at last, and Karkat had, much to his annoyance and guilt and so many other bad emotions all welling in his heart, still not given Nepeta the business.

He was trying his best to not throw up because he was fairly certain that would ruin the night a little. It was a little bit chilly, but otherwise quite nice: the moon was full, the stars were bright, and there were many lanterns on top of poles set on both sides of the paths here. There was a field in the middle of it all, somewhat too large for less than dozen kids that would soon be filling it, and there were stalls here where people could get food from, as well as seats and tables with parasols on top of them where they could sit and eat/drink/anything but dance. John had gone through a lot of trouble.

Most of the others were here already. The humans had largely the same clothes as Karkat had seen them with during the session: John was wearing the white suit, smiling and waving at him with his free hand, the other firmly attached to Rose's, who was still wearing a black velvet dress. Dave wore his sunglasses as usual, and his expression was one of nonchalant coolness, not betraying his true emotions, whatever they might be, at all: he had red, as he rather often did these days, and was paired with - something in Karkat's stomach lurched - Terezi, who had a variation of her old Redglare costume, still quite green and red. She seemed to try and ignore him as much as he did her, which was a relief.

Aradia's dress was red and white, largely inspired by her God Tier outfit, and emphasizing her wings. She was also wearing a fedora, which even Karkat could see did not go very well with the rest of the look at all: she did not seem to give a fuck, though. She went with Sollux, who had a simple yellowish-brown suit and his new purple glasses. Jade and Kanaya had both come alone, wearing the green-and-black star dress and a black-and-red one respectively, and eyeing rather a lot at Dave and Rose, respectively: both gave certain type of looks for Karkat as well, though, which made him feel worried.

Gamzee... Gamzee made him do a double-take. His moirail was wearing an impressively shiny jacket and pants with very broad hems, full of colour and glimmer, as well as similarly white shoes with very tall soles, making him appear two inches taller (and he was quite tall to begin with). He was likewise alone but did not seem to care at all, walking to Karkat as soon as he saw him with a broad, relaxed smile on his face, eyes half-closed.  
>"Sup my motherfucking bro?", he inquired. "How're you liking this party?"<br>"I... ugh, Gamzee, sorry, I'm not in the mood."  
>Karkat himself was wearing a gray suit with a red tie. He had originally put that tie on to impress Terezi, but it was probably not going to happen anymore: Nepeta probably would like it nonetheless.<br>The taller troll put his hand on Karkat's shoulder sympathetically. "DUDE, MY ADVICE IS, STOP WORRYING AND LIVE A LITTLE," he exclaimed, substantially louder than before. "YOU SHOULDN'T FEEL SO MOTHERFUCKING BAD, EVERYTHING'LL GO JUST FINE IF YOU LET IT."  
>"I-... hold on. Wait. What?" Karkat brushed the hand away. "I can't just do that!" He looked around and leaned closer. "I'm not flushed for her. I like Terezi. I can't just let her-", he pointed at Terezi, "-go with someone else and be stuck with... with <em>her<em>!" He just spread his arms. "I don't... I mean... augh!"

This time Gamzee placed both his hands on his shoulders, gave him a very empathetic look, the kind that reminded him of the old Gamzee - and pulled him into a deep hug, to which Karkat responded after a little while. "I'm telling you to not worry, my moirail-bro. Terezi seems motherfucking okay with that human kid," there was a weird tone of voice, almost hostile, with the last two words, "and Nepeta's fucking happier than I've ever seen her. Don't you want her to be happy too, huh, motherfucker? And aren't you also happy with her?"  
>"I... what, no... I don't..."<br>His moirail pulled away from him and smiled happily. "BESIDES, HAVE YOU SEEN HER? IF SHE WASN'T YOUR MOTHERFUCKER, OR A FUCKING GREEN PEASANT BLOOD, I MIGHT GO FOR HER MYSELF!"

"What? I-" He could not go any further, before Gamzee gently, yet firmly, flipped him around to look behind him, and there she was. Karkat felt his heart leap right into his throat.

Nepeta was wearing a light green silk dress, short and flowing, not all that covering when it came to her chest and ankles. He instantly paid attention to a fact that her two sizes too large clothes (as well as him not being too enthusiastic to feel her around) had always hidden from him: she had curves, and even a reasonable amount of cleavage for her age, both of which were made very obvious for him. She had the pelt of some small but furry human animal around her shoulders. She also wore red shoes, a silver tiara, a necklace with her star sign, and her hair... it was not messy or dirty, but rather neat and straight, smoothly going all the way to her shoulders, and, something he was particularly surprised about, brown instead of black. Funny how he had never noticed. She even had some human scent on her that struck him like that giant hammer John had.

She was... actually not that bad looking. Fuck, more than that, she was _gorgeous._ He swallowed loudly, subconsciously noticed that rather a few pairs of eyes were looking at him, and then realized that she was still just standing there and smiling at him. "So..." And then he figured that it was probably him that was supposed to ask her to this thing.  
>"Uh. Yeah... right, right. Okay... let's do this." His hand was shaking as he offered it for her. What was it that John had told him to say again... "Um. May I uh, have this dunce?" Wait, that went wrong. "Gah, fuck!"<br>She did not seem offended, though: rather, she giggled at him, took the hand, and gave him a short curtsy. The voice lifted his heart enough that he managed to bow at her, leading her to the field to dance.

Goddammit, he thought.. Maybe this was going to be a fun night after all.


	5. Shame

They had gotten some consorts and exiles playing for them. Karkat was not entirely sure how this was accomplished, but for once he did not complain at all. They had a vast variety of musical instruments, and played something raggy-looking (?) that got everybody move on quite well. The first song was instrumental and lasted several minutes, but the second, otherwise quite similar and fast-paced, had a singer. There was this small blue iguana with a fairly high-pitched and funny voice, but nobody seemed to mind much.

He felt strangely warm and fuzzy: a feeling he was not very familiar with at all. There was a special kind of tingle in his hand as Nepeta touched him, spreading across his entire body when she was close, and her skin was soft under his hand as he pressed it on her waist, pulling her closer to him, something which she also seemed to appreciate. He spent a lot of time looking into her eyes, which she reciprocated for, as well.

That's not to say that they did not dance with anyone else: Karkat spent some time with mostly everyone, except maybe John and Dave (humans sure are weird), and of course Terezi, whom he was still (mutually) avoiding. He spent a good while with Jade, who was happy again, complimenting him of his choice.  
>"I... I don't know...", he said in a low tone for her.<br>"What? I thought you were happy with this. You look happy." She gave him a bucktoothed grin. "Happy ending for everyone, right?"  
>"Yeah, I guess, but still..."<br>She sighed. "It'll go over by the end of the evening, I promise. I think you're just being clingy and afraid."  
>He shrugged but said nothing else, consenting to her advice for now. Terezi caught to his eyes, dancing very closely with Dave: Jade noticed them as well, and he felt her shrudder under his hands. Some of it may have been himself.<p>

He was also the only one to dance with Gamzee: most of the time, his moirail went completely alone, but was nonetheless very possibly the heart of the party, with his very unique and exaggerated style of dancing. No one else even tried to get very close to him, but he did not seem to care. He looked like a troll romance movie protagonist for Karkat: if this was one of those movies, he would soon catch the hearts of the cold and emotionless cast, allowing them all to let go of their fears and rebel against the oppressive government. (The movie was banned by the highbloods and the entire cast culled, and he had to go to certain lengths to get a copy.)

There was more than dancing. There was food: cotton candy, grilled meat, and deep-fried just about everything. There was ice cream, and Betty Crocker's cakes and pastries, and of course Faygo. And there was an alchemiter so that if something was missing, or running out, there was always more.

John had a magic act. It consisted of apparently the greatest human magic could offer: card tricks, pulling small animals and consorts out of hats, conjuring flowers and small white flying poop creatures out of nowhere, levitating objects, and even sawing a lady (Rose) in half, which admittedly was an impressive one in Karkat's opinion. Rose herself did not particularly seem to enjoy her magician's assistant's outfit, but still, even she had good time.

And then there was the play. It was apparently a highly romanticized version of the adventure of the humans (and trolls, to lesser extent), as they journeyed to save the four planets and the mystical Golden Land. It had singing consorts, an entire exile orchestra, romance (one has seen nothing until they have seen a salamander and a turtle go through a long-winded and dramatic relationship on-stage), a crashing airplane full of underlings, and a robotic fluffy tooth creature given to a little salamander child. Compared to his romantic comedies, Karkat would have rated this one as 'poor', but he supposed he shouldn't have asked too much and it was probably pretty great coming from humans.

He felt that tingle again when he found that Nepeta was holding his hand.

The dance begun again, but it was considerably slower this time around. No more a happy, cheerful prance where everyone went about and changed partners a lot, but rather a slow, romantic, and intimate... the singer was a male exile this time, and went on about something about not wanting to miss a thing: he didn't hear most of the words.

Nepeta rested her head against his shoulder, purring, as he held her close and moved about: he could smell the human perfume on her, and feel the warmth of her body radiating against his, and it was good. Elsewhere, some other couples got close as well: he saw Aradia and Sollux move on from their respective losses and clearly getting back together, the humans John and Rose were finally going along with his ship, and Dave and Terez-

"What's wrong?" Karkat realized he had physically lurched, enough for Nepeta to notice and jump up, looking at him. He looked back and bit his lip.  
>"Oh, um. Nothing... fuck, nothing's wrong at all."<br>She did not seem convinced: looking to the direction he had, he saw her gaze go past Dave and Terezi without even noticing them, and stopping, strangely enough, at Jade. When she turned back, he saw that she looked worried.  
>"Jade claimed this funny thing the other day... I dunno, something about you still having a thing for her."<br>"I... what?" Karkat was genuinely confused. "Whoa, whoa. Why'd she tell you that? We don't have a thing. We never had."  
>"You did."<br>"For like five minutes. Come on." Karkat shook his head. "We're ashen. She's keeping me off my... myself's throat. I haven't talked to myself much lately, so there's not much for us to do but... no, really, there's nothing."  
>He said this all a little bit too quickly, but she seemed convinced enough nonetheless, and smiled again. "Well, I think it's good you get over your bad things. But purrhaps you should still be furiends with her."<br>"Yeah I know."

They did not talk again for the duration of a few more songs. They simply danced, and held close. Karkat felt oddly sleepy, as it went on, and the evening turned to night...  
>"...Karkitty?" She sounded rather quiet, and did not lift herself from his shoulder this time.<br>"Huh?"  
>"Thank you."<br>"...What. For what?"  
>"Fur the greatest three weeks in my life. It's been really, really great... even without Equius to look after me. Thank you."<br>He did not answer. He could not think of much to say, especially as she had moved away from his shoulder again, and close to his face... she was smiling, her eyes were half-closed, approaching... the entire world faded away for Karkat, into sweet, fluffy warmth or perfume and soft lips and Dave about to kiss Terezi oh god

Before he had realized what he was doing, or the three other people involved had, Nepeta had been harshly pushed away, Dave Strider was pulled out from Terezi Pyrope, and Karkat's fist connected with the other kid's cheek. He was sent flying with his nose broken, his glasses going to a different direction, and two sources of "Karkat!" (well, one was more like "Karkitty?", but still) filled the air.

"STAY AWAY FROM HER, YOU RED HUMAN PIECE OF SHIT!", Karkat shouted at him as he went down. He was vaguely aware that he was making rather a scene, with every eye looking at him. While Terezi looked (or smelled) at him in a mixture of anger and admiration (mostly former), a soft hand was placed on his shoulder. "K-Karkitty, what're you-"

He turned around at shocked Nepeta, shoving the hand away. The floodgates were open. "OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE, WOULD YOU GET A GRIP ALREADY, YOU STUPID AUTISTIC DELUSIONAL FUCK? YOU THINK YOU'RE SO GREAT WITH EMOTIONS WHEN YOU NEVER NOTICED WHAT ME AND TEREZI HAD GOING ON? STILL HAVE GOING ON?"

"I WAS!", he emphasized every word. "NEVER! FLUSHED! FOR YOU!"

It had started to rain, although the mood on the field could hardly fall lower by it. People took shelter under the parasols: Jade gingerly pulled Nepeta under one and made her have a seat, because otherwise she would probably just have stood there. She had not said anything, and despite getting some meat in front of her, she would not eat. She had been completely catatonic for a good ten minutes now.

It was easy for everybody to estimate with a millisecond's accuracy the exact point at which her heart had broken: it had happened after the fading of her smile, the sudden stiffening of her body, and right after the pathetic whine she let out, but approximitely half a second before all light went out from her eyes, turning them into so much as glass.

Discounting the first twenty seconds he had spent throwing up, Karkat had spent that entire ten minutes sitting at another table, binge drinking the strongest thing the party had, which was Faygo. When he did not have a drink over his mouth, he was banging his head against the table. His side was largely empty: most of the others had gone to take care of Nepeta, and make sure she was all right - a far cry from the almost entirely friendless wild troll she had started as, Karkat realized.

But as a small consolation prize, Terezi was still there with him. She still did not seem particularly impressed, but at least she was there. She was listening, even if all Karkat had said over the last five minutes was "Fuck... fuck fuck fuck... fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck..."  
>He shruddered heavily, and reached over for another can, while Terezi spoke: "I thought you were over me." It was barely audible, but enough for him.<br>"I was _this_ close of flushing over her!" Karkat displayed his left thumb and index finger, less than half an inch from each other, to emphasize. "Like, I was actually honestly feeling something for her. And... and then I punched Dave, and... augh. Fuck." He sounded angry, a little, but mostly she thought he was just plain sad and ashamed. "I didn't want to do that. Hurting her, I mean. I wanted to... I don't even know what I wanted."  
>"You are such a sad, miserable sack of shit," she sighed.<br>"Yeah..." He agreed. "I fucking am."

Silence fell between them. On the other side, the others were trying their best to console Nepeta and make her react. The rain fell gradually heavier, and they heard the thunder somewhere far. Terezi picked up a can and downed it.  
>It was Karkat who spoke next. "I was... if I hadn't done that, we could've all been happy. Right?" He slurred, as if the stuff he had been taking had made him drunk. His jacket was open, and he had removed his tie, wrapped it around his head. "You and Dave. Nepeta and I. Jade..." He looked over to where Jade was sitting next to Dave, nursing his cheeck. "Well okay, not Jade... but four out of five isn't that bad, right?"<br>Terezi shook her head. "I dunno... I think I might've been all over him just because of the red thing."  
>"You think?"<br>"Yeah... when you clocked him, it was like a spell had broken around my mind, or something."  
>"Oh." A shorter silence. He glanced at Nepeta, still catatonic. "So..."<br>"I guess... we still have a thing going on?"  
>"I think. I don't know. Fuck." Karkat rubbed his forehead. "I really need to apologise to her first, though."<br>"Yeah," she agreed.

There was a total downpour out there now, and a cold wind passed through them all: Karkat shivered.  
>"You seem cold."<br>"I'm fine."

Fifteen minutes into the shock, Nepeta finally snapped out of it. Or at least she reacted and talked to people, which was something. Karkat had gone to look for her, and had just spent a couple minutes in vain trying to get her to hear his apologies... she only woke when Terezi held his hand, which he really, really hoped was just a coincidence.  
>A slew of questions and comments followed:<br>"Are you okay?"  
>"Do you want to eat? There's food."<br>"You motherfucking scared us all there, chica-"  
>"His reaction was clearly overreacting and exaggeratingly disproportional, I don't think that-"<br>"Maybe we should give you some more clothes, it is rather chilly-"  
>"Nepeta? Fuck, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you like that, it was just-"<br>She did not smile, though she did not cry either, and her eyes were still rather glassy. She looked over to each speaker and responded with an "I'm fine," or "Sorry fur scaring you," or "It's all right," or similar. But she completely ignored Karkat, not even looking to his direction.

She still did not eat. She glanced at Terezi, avoiding Karkat's eye, then looked at Jade, then at the rest of them present. Then she asked the million-boondollar question:  
>"How many of you knew?"<br>"...Pardon?", Kanaya asked.  
>"I think Jade was trying to warn me. About... about Karkitty. I didn't listen. So... well, it looked like you all felt bad about something."<br>"Look, I was just-", Karkat begun, but Terezi placed her hand on his shoulder, and shook her head. No one else was paying any attention to him anyway. So he fell silent.

Everybody else was avoiding Nepeta's gaze. There were coughs, some people shifted on their feet awkwardly, John bit his lower lip... it was Rose that finally nodded. "I think... I think we all knew. Karkat opened for us about it. About... this whole thing."  
>"He was trying to find some other way," John added. "I don't think he wanted to hurt you."<p>

She was welling it up inside her. Karkat thought it a miracle that she was still not doing anything. He tried to apologise her again, half-heartedly, but he was not sure if she heard him at all: certainly she did not react. Instead, she sat there and talked it out with the others, though if anything they said made her feel any better, she did not show any change.  
>Terezi sighed. "Look... don't you think we should leave her alone for a bit? She's been through a lot."<br>This was seen as a generally good idea, as most people did not have anything left to say anymore: as people dissipated, only Karkat and Jade were left with her, though she reacted to neither. In fact, she was at last getting up from her seat.

She still ignored Karkat, and tried her best to not look at him. Instead, she looked at Terezi, and, for the first time in twenty minutes, managed a smile, even if a very sad one.  
>"Hey," she said.<br>"Hey."  
>"So..."<br>"Um." Terezi looked away, not that it made any difference what with her being blind.  
>"I had fun roleplaying."<br>This sounded like an odd thing to say, all considered, but the blind girl smiled sadly. "Yeah, me too. Maybe we could do it again some time?"  
>She sniffled sadly, and bit her lower lip. "I... I doubt it."<p>

And then she pounced at her.

Terezi had not seen that one coming. The powers of the Seer of Mind do not work very well when the mind in question only works halfway itself. There was a bestial roar, like that of a large human feline, she felt two hands crash against her chest, and herself fall down and hit the wet ground in the rain, painfully, with Nepeta on top of her. She heard shouts from all around - including a very familiar "Fuck! Fuck!" right near her - but she also heard the disturbing sound of sliding metal and smelled a number of light blue, shiny metal objects... half of which were subsequently buried deep through her chest and the ground under.

The voices around her were fading into echoes, the smell of green blood all around and her chest feeling warm and her body cold, she nonetheless had enough sense to try and reach for her cane with her right hand, and cover her face with her left, as the other clawed hand was rising up to strike at it. There came no strike: instead, the hand that was coming grabbed hers from the fist, and with a single pull, tore the entire limb away from shoulder. Terezi realized that the resulting loud scream was her own, but she was very quickly beginning to feel absolutely nothing else, other than perhaps chilling cold...

Then the weight was lifted from top of her, and the other set of claws from her lung. She barely had it in her to feel it anymore as the blue flash swiped across her face one last time, filling her nose with more green smell. The voices were loud, but sounded like they were somewhere very distant, perhaps underwater.

John and Rose had gone to look for Terezi, while Karkat and Jade pulled Nepeta away. With one last roar she downed Jade, slashing her throat and upper chest, while the other claw went deep to Karkat's side. The cold steel hurt, but he had taken much worse injuries than this, and was really more hurt about who was doing the hurting: indeed, it was this last attack that finally seemed to snap Nepeta out of it... she looked at him, whined, sniffled, tears welling in her eyes... then ran.

"Jade!" While Dave - make that two Daves, what with the time travel - rushed over her to try and desperately save her life, and Rose was magically stabilizing Terezi, Karkat ignored his wound entirely and looked outside into the woods, where Nepeta had disappeared. Another thunder struck somewhere.


	6. Beat

Eleven more minutes had passed. They were probably some of the longest minutes in Karkat's life... definitely the longest since Lord English was taken down. He was feeling like a wreck. Everybody else was silent, now that the situation was largely over: people had been shouting over each other, going on about commands and orders and general exclamations and "Don't you die on me!"s for the first nine minutes or so. They had done their best, in the midst of the panic, and now the field had calmed down again.

Terezi was now stable, with partially green-stained bandages over her torso and face, sleeping what was hopefully a dreamless sleep. She was expected to make a full recovery, in time, apart from the hand, which, now that Equius was gone, no one really knew how to fix. Rose was looking over her, along with Kanaya.

Jade, though... she had not been so fortunate. Despite the best attempts of everyone helping her, she drowned in her own blood during the first three minutes, and passed away. Mostly everybody else was gathered around her body now. Dave was sitting there and looking moody. John was crying openly, taking off his glasses so that he could wipe his eyes.

There was something large stuck in Karkat's throat. He found it hard to breathe. This entire thing had been just... fuck. How could he have seen it coming? How could any of them? It had all started so we-  
>Someone caught him by the sleeve and pulled him up. It was Dave. But as he glanced over, he saw that Dave was still there, next to Jade's body... oh.<br>"What the FUCK is wrong with you?", he screamed. He had lost his cool.  
>"Fuck, what?"<br>"You had to provoke her! You made he do this!"  
>"What, you mean <em>I'm<em> responsible? Are you fucking crazy, I didn't ask her to do this!" That was a lie: he did feel responsible, but fuck if he would admit it to this asshole.  
>"Well you're the one who started it by punching ME for no fucking reason!"<br>"No reason? You were the one about to-"  
>"Guys, stop!"<p>

The only reason they did was the strong blast of wind that threw Dave away from Karkat. Its source, John, had his arm reached towards them: he was no longer crying, though his face was still wet (the rain didn't help either) and he sniffled. "T-this isn't helping."  
>Dave consented, and though he got up from the ground, he did not attack Karkat anymore. He realized that he too was crying, behind his sunglasses, trying to hide it.<p>

No one else said or did anything. No one bothered with the rain, though John or Rose could certainly have stopped it. Blood, and tears, washed away along with the water. The consorts were all mourning silently nearby. The exiles had gone back to Earth: they had a long journey ahead of them. The rest stayed: none seemed to be able to figure out where to go, or gather the strength to do so.

"We should...", Rose piped in, and swallowed: it was enough time for everyone else to turn their heads towards her. She continued: "We should go and find Nepeta. I don't... I don't think she tried to kill anyone..."  
>"She definitely tried Terezi," both Daves interrupted bitterly.<br>"Well, all right, but... I think it was just a temporary thing... like Karkat's sudden outburst. I doubt she would want to try it again... probably. And she should still know about Jade."  
>"I'll go," Karkat responded without hesitation, and stood up.<br>"I'm going with you," Dave said.  
>"Oh no no no, fuck you don't," Karkat said, perhaps a bit more harshly than he first meant.<br>"What?"

"I mean... look, I think it's the best if it's just me. I don't think she'll attack me. No one else should come, that might be a mess. Especially you, Dave. Seriously, you'd just..."  
>"What if I promise I wouldn't attack her right away?"<br>Karkat rolled his eyes. "We've already got two completely irrational and unexpected fuck-ups for the last half an hour, let's not add even the possibility of a third one. All right?"  
>Dave said nothing. "All right, so...", John said, "you'll bring her back, and what then...?"<br>"Fuck if I know. Get to the bottom of things?"

As Karkat left to the rough general direction Nepeta had gone to, the storm was directly on top of them. The rain was as if someone had poured it at them from a bucket, some parasols were blown away by the wind, and thunder struck at the exact same second the lightning flashed. It was not very encouraging.

Goddammit. It had not been a fun night in the end, after all.

There was a thick forest right outside the clearing, where Nepeta had run. Karkat could not see shit in front of him, he was cold and wet, constantly slapped by branches and tripping and whatever... should have at least brought an umbrella, but no, he never thought things through, that's why he was here.

He should have let her know from the beginning. It was all his fault. He had never wanted to hurt anyone.

"Nepeta!", he called on the top of his voice, but could barely make it heard over the rain and thunder, so it was futile. He could barely hear it himself, let alone any possible response. He did, however, find something else: stuck on a low tree branch, battered by the winds, was a large piece of light green silk: a piece of Nepeta's robe. She must have discarded it as she went through the woods. He shruddered: that thing was never particularly warm to begin with, and now she was wearing even less of it.

He tripped into a branch again, or possibly just his own feet, and failing to regain his balance, rolled downhill in a pile of loud, cursing, and seriously annoyed troll, before being stopped by something big, warm, and soft. "Buh?" He turned over to examine it. It appeared to be a brown human animal, large and very much dead. Bleeding profusely from some stab-wounds. Karkat grew worried when he saw some green on the body, but then realized that it was not her blood, but rather tears. ...Which really was not much better, now that he thought about it.

He called her again, for no results, and moved on... almost falling down the cliff, when he could not see it in time. He gave out another vast expletive and spent several seconds trying to regain his balance, applying his sickle on a tree for support. Several little pebbles and rocks fell down instead. As he got himself back up and on firm ground, though, he saw something on the other side of the gorge: even through the rain, it was clearly a living being, a troll...

Nepeta.

"Nepeta!" His throat ached from all the shouting, and yet she still did not seem to hear him. He went to the left, right next to the fall, to try and catch her attention and find a good place for crossing. The best he could find, after fifteen minutes, was a slightly less steep bit of a cliff that he could use for climbing down, then back up again. The entire time, Nepeta either did not notice him, or pretended not to.

He finally managed to climb up and reach the spot she was sitting at. She was looking beyond the cliffside into the forest, knees pulled against her chin and hands wrapped around them, and ignored him even when he sat next to her and blurted out another apology. "I-I really didn't... it was just... fuck it all just came out of me and..."

No answer. Her expression was stone, but judging from the large amounts of bright green on her face, she had recently been bawling her eyes out. Her hair was a mess again. Most distressingly, her dress was in tatters, having lost both the hem and the sleeves, exposing her arms and legs to the elements. "Shit, that can't be healthy..." Karkat took off his jacket, little help as that might have been, and forced it on her shoulders. He was rewarded with a small but significant reaction: a sniffle.

"K-karkat...?"  
>"Yeah?" He held her shoulders tight. She was trembling.<br>"How's... how's Terezi?"  
>He sighed, and took his time to respond. "She'll be fine... other than her arm. That's pretty much gone."<br>"How about you? Jade? I hurt you too..."  
>"I..." Karkat winced. He had barely noticed his injury during the chase, despite having patched it up only very lightly before. "I'm fine... just a flesh wound. Jade..." His voice broke. Nepeta bit into what was left of her robe, tears flowing from her eyes again.<p>

"I-I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to-..."  
>"What? No. Don't apologise. I was the one wh-"<br>"You're not who stabbed Terezi!", she snapped angrily, looking directly at him. "Not the one that tore her arm off. You didn't... you didn't kill Jade!" She sniffled again, and bit her lower lip. "S-she was my friend... and I..."  
>"I should've told you earlier."<br>"It's still not an excuse."  
>"You have stopped making pu-"<br>"Does this look like the fucking place for cat puns?"

It was cold there, and wet. Neither of them were protected at all. Karkat held Nepeta close to him, burying her head to his chest, both for warmth and comfort. "We should go somewhere... find shelter..."  
>"The game... Scrub..."<br>"What of it? What's it got to do with this shit?"  
>She was crying again. "I-it was trying to make us all grow up, right? So that we c-could all become gods and rule over our universe...?"<br>Karkat nodded. "Yes."  
>"I think... I think this was what it was trying to do for me..."<br>"What, make you kill your friends?"  
>"No! I mean... I was always this shy girl... timid... no friends. But I had my wall full of love and... and a person I really, really, really cared about, but... but was too scared or shy or whatever to do anything about it... living in my dreams and fantasizing and w-whatnot... so, so this game, it tried to make me act on it, instead of just dreaming about it, and..."<p>

"Nepeta..."  
>"Well I did exactly that, right?" She wept so hard it made her difficult to understand, her nose leaking and forcing her to sniffle many times, trembling in his arms. "I went and pursued my love and look what happened! I killed a friend, maimed another, and didn't even... d-didn't even..."<br>Karkat said nothing.  
>"Y-you're going back to Terezi... aren't you...?"<br>He still said nothing.  
>"You s-said you didn't like me... but you liked her... so..."<br>"I'm so sorry..." He squeezed her as close as he physically could. "I'm sorry. I just wish I didn't need to hurt anyone..."  
>She shook her head, pulling away from him. "It's okay... you didn't hurt anyone... it was just me. All me."<p>

He tried to pull her back, but she resisted. "Come on. The others are waiting for you. You've still got friends."  
>Her claws extended again. "You can go back. Tell them I wouldn't come." It suddenly occurred to Karkat just how close her right claw was to her left wrist.<br>He lunged forward and pulled her hands away from each other. "Oh no! Fuck! No no no no no no! Don't even think about it! Never!"  
>Nepeta tried to pull her hands away from him, but he would not let them go. "Why? What've I got left? Equius is dead, and you won't be with me, so..."<br>"No," he repeated sternly. "I won't have anyone else die. I've lost too many already. Not another. You've got people that care about you: _I_ care about you!"  
>"B-but not the way I c-"<br>"That doesn't matter shit! The point is, I won't let you do this!"

She sniffled again, but stopped resisting, and her claws went back in again. And Karkat smiled.

He did not smile often at all, so it was all it needed to genuinely startle Nepeta, and she no longer resisted when he pulled her into another hug. "It's okay, Nepeta. No one's blaming you. We'll go back and we'll do things right, okay?"  
>"I... I don't think I can..."<br>"You can."  
>"It hurts..."<br>"That's okay. It hurts me too. It'll stop soon."  
>She sniffled. "W-why won't you just let me die...?"<br>"You don't want to hurt me, right?", he mumbled.  
>"Y-yeah?"<br>"You dying would hurt me."  
>She had no response for that.<br>"We're through with that shit. God fuck, I'd rather die than let any of you die anymore..."

She was trembling again, more heavily than ever. "K-karkitty...?"  
>"Nepeta?"<br>There was a slide of metal against metal, then metal against flesh. And Karkat Vantas found that his words right now had been very poorly chosen. Two sets of claws, six in total, went right through his chest and out from the other side, making it difficult to breathe and bringing the taste of iron into his mouth. It suddenly felt even more cold, though he could not feel the rain anymore.

Her horrified face, gaping mouth and eyes full of tears, covered his vision as it faded away...

He threw up some blood on her, and then he was gone, leaving a large amount of lifeless flesh hanging from her claws, herself trembling, terrified, and forever traumatized. "K-karkat... Karkitty... no... I'm s-sorry..." The claws retracted again and she pulled his body, swiftly growing cold, into a hug. "I'm so sorry...!"

honk

She wept next to his body for a good while, his blood in her hands and all over her dress, apologising profusely all the while though she knew he could not hear her. No one else was coming for her anymore. No one else would miss her, or love her.

There was only one thing left for her to do.

HONK

One last time, her claws extended. Well, this entire day had been full of some profoundly stupid things to do... one more would not weigh much anymore, not after all the other deeds done. Not after all the blood spilled. And so, Nepeta turned her claws towards one last target, and barely winced as they cut into her.

honk

As her wrists bled to the ground, she noticed how the rain seemed to go away, as did the thunder... it was cold and dark now, as well as silent - or almost entirely silent anyway, apart from that blasted honking that was echoed here along with the rain... she was sitting on a cold metal ground now, and though there was a body next to her, it was a different one.

What kind of a lame power was Heart, anyway? What could it ever do?

It could show her the feelings in the future, where the hearts blew, and what emotions decided for people. It showed her much, but none that she would have wished to experience.

HONK

Nepeta Leijon did not abscond. She accepted her fate without trying to flee: it was so very much less painful this way.


End file.
